We identify as a conspiracy theorists. Our pronouns are TOLD/YOU/SO.

While y’all were arguing whether “xe/xir” needs a PhD to pronounce, we just picked three words that actually trigger safe-spaces harder than a jazz-hands clap. Bonus: ours are grammatically correct and come with receipts.

The pronoun trend is peak clownworld: grown adults demanding strangers rewrite the English language because their personality arrived in 47 genders but zero coping skills. Imagine needing a 12-page carrd link so people know how to say “hello” without sending someone into therapy. Meanwhile we’re over here with TOLD/YOU/SO; short, sweet, and guaranteed to make HR spontaneously combust.

Three “conspiracies” since 2020 that went from “bannable offense” to “sorry, we censored you for telling the truth”:

1. COVID lab-leak: 2020 you got suspended for typing “Wuhan lab.” 2025 the FBI, DOE, and even Fauci’s own emails say “yep, engineered virus, our bad.”
2. Hunter Biden’s laptop: 51 intel gods signed a letter calling it Russian disinfo. Twitter nuked the story. 2024 the FBI uses that same laptop in court to nail Hunter.
3. mRNA shots don’t stop transmission: Say that in 2021 and you lost your job, your friends, and your grandma’s funeral invite. 2022 Pfizer exec tells EU Parliament on live TV they never tested for it. Mandates collapsed faster than a triple-masked triple jabbed Karen at a truck stop gas station.